Friends with Benefits

How does a good hard shag sound? No strings attached, two single consenting adults enjoying dirty full-on sex without the complications of a relationship? You get all the good stuff, without the hassle of arguing over who left the toilet seat up.

It’s called friends with benefits or fuck buddies, whichever you prefer to dress it up as. It’s all the rage to having someone else who is just looking for sex and no strings attached in most capital cities. It certainly takes the work out off it; are you or aren’t you going to get any from all the effort you put in to impressing someone? Or you may have a friend and you both agree that it is sex you are after and nothing more. I know, sounds like a perfect world.

This can work as long as no one becomes attached. Then it just becomes an awaked mess. Both parties’ expectations of the arrangement really needs to be established from the start, with full realisation that life is not a Mila Kunis movie and you probably won’t fall madly, deeply in love with each other. Make it casual, so you’re not expecting to be at it every night; if you go a couple of weeks thats cool, it’s not a relationship.  This friend needs to be someone you wouldn’t normally date, maybe someone out of your usual comfort zone, because the last thing you want is to become too emotionally attached. Keep it all about the sex. You’re not there to ask how their day is or discuss the weather; you just have an itch that needs scratching. When you hook up you want to get straight to the bedroom, not linger or try to make deep and meaningful conversations, cause let’s face it you’re not really interested in what’s coming out of their mouth but rather what their mouth is going to be doing. I know this sounds harsh but in all seriousness, that’s exactly what it is, just sex!

After speaking to someone who currently has a fuck buddy, it can actually work really well and it does for her. Women want sex just as much as men and are a lot more open about what they want and on their own terms.  She has been separated now for over a year and was probably gagging for it, in all fairness her battery friend just wasn’t cutting it anymore. Then she was introduced to a single guy through friends who just happens to be after sex too. Couldn’t have written the script better. She says the sex is amazing and a lot more adventurous because their inhibitions are a lot lower because it’s not a relationship. They are both there for the sex and willing to give things ago. They both know this will never be anything more. It has worked wonders for her and I do notice she has more of a spring in her step these days. This though is not for everyone and both parties really do need to be on the same page for this to work. If it does well, it could be a benefit to all involved.

Would you ever consider a ‘friend with benefits’?

Gemma Lutton

Mother of three gorgeous kids and a extremely lucky husband. A stay at home mum now dipping her toes into the world of writing and escaping into fantasyland until 3pm rolls around, then back to being an awesome mother and wife.

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