75 Random Thoughts While Shopping at KMart

“Does this happen to anyone else when shopping? Or am I the only one?”

Kmart: quite possibly the most inconvenient convenient store in the world. Why you may ask? Well, it sells everything and it’s all so cheap and so convenient. But, on the other hand, it sells everything and it’s all so cheap which means I buy half the store.

This is sort of how the thought process goes anytime I enter a superstore like Kmart, BigW, Target, etc. How about you?

1.�Okay, in and out.

2. I only need a birthday card.

3. No trolley today, thank you.

4. I wonder how much the Kmart greeter gets paid.

5. I could do that.

6. Hello. Welcome to Kmart. Hello. Happy Shopping.

7. Piece of cake.

8. Two dollar t-shirts? Yeah, I’ll buy one.

9. Or ten.

10. Oooo I wonder if they have any cheap shoes?

11. I could use a pair of shoes.

12. Four dollar shoes.

13. Score.

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14. Better buy a second pair.

15. And maybe a couple pairs for the kids.

16. Okay, that’s it. No more. Checkout time.

17. Five dollar bras? Bargain.

18. Hmm”�. Size? B or C?

19. Where the hell are the fitting rooms?

20. Bugger it -��I’ll buy both sizes.

21.�Should have grabbed a trolley.

22. What was I here for again?

23. Nappies? No, that wasn’t it

24. Half off nappies. Hmmm.

25. We always need nappies.

26. God I love Kmart

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27. Homewares”� stop calling me.

28. I’ll just have a quick look.

29. Five dollar candles.

30. Those would be great in the living room”�.

31. Oooooh 40 percent off plants.

32. There is no such thing as too many plants.

33. Or storage containers.

34. Or wicker baskets.

35. Far out the craft stuff here is so cheap.

36. Do we really have the space?

37. Hmm… if I buy another wicker basket we do.

38. Craft Wicket Basket.

39. Sold.

40. Why the hell did I bring the kids with me?

41. No, I will not buy you that stuffed animal.

42. It’s $2.00?

43. Meh. Okay, whatev’s.

44. Toss it in the trolley

45. Argh. Go and get me a trolley then.

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46. Okay, walking passed the kitchen stuff.

47. Not stopping.

48. Self-control.

49. Yes we could use new coffee cups.

50. Oooo and a toaster.

51. Alright, finished.

52. No kids, no lollies today. Not enough money.

53. Why are there no checkouts open?

54. Self-serve it is.

55. I AM PLACING MY ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA

56. Assistance needed.

57. Why do you even have these stupid checkouts in the first place?

58. IT IS IN THE BAGGING AREA!!

59. Don’t even bother leaving Lady. You’re gonna be back in two seconds anyway, scanning your magic key once again.

60. Told you so.

61.�$135 dollars?

62. Whoops.

63. Hmm maybe I should put something back.

64. No, bugger it. The checkout lady already thinks I’m incompetent.

65. Let’s just pay and get the eff out of here.

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66. I HAVE SCANNED MY CARD.

67. Hello Magic Key Woman. Welcome back.

68. Long time no see.

69. God why don’t they make bags that actually fit the items?

70. Now to take this stuff home and unload before hubby sees it.

71. Oh shit. I forgot the birthday card.

72. Stuff it. The kids can make one.

73. More personal that way.

74. And cheaper.

75. Why spend money when you don’t need to, right?

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Clare Whitfield Chief Editor

Clare Whitfield is the Editor of Stay at Home Mum and a recognised voice in practical home management for Australian families. Based in the northern suburbs of Sydney, she balances editorial leadership with life as a stay at home mum to two school age children. Her background in home economics and more than a decade of experience in recipe development, family budgeting, and household systems inform her work.

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