A British doctor has explained to his 5.4 million TikTok followers why you shouldn’t actually share a bed with your partner.
Dr Karan Raj shared a video explaining how sharing a bed can negatively affect your wellbeing— and for many couples and busy parents, it might explain why getting a good night’s sleep feels so difficult.
Snoring is one of the most common causes of sleep disruption for couples, according to the NHS.
“You should always sleep alone,” he starts the video. “If the other person moves around in their sleep or snores, that will stop you getting into the deep stages of sleep your body needs to recharge, affecting sleep quality.”
“Not everyone shares the same sleep cycles, forcing two people to share the same bedtime will leave one or both chronically sleep-deprived.
“One of the triggers you need to fall asleep is a drop in core body temperature, sharing a bed with someone increases body heat, so it’s going to take longer to fall asleep.”
Sleep experts have increasingly acknowledged that differences in sleep habits—like temperature preferences, movement and noise—can significantly impact sleep quality and overall health.
Now, this makes sense!!
I am forever telling my husband to roll over and stop snoring. (Apparently, I am just as bad though!)
Should You Sleep Alone?
This doctor believes that when couples sleep alone, it’s the best way to get a good night’s rest. When asked about the benefits of sleeping solo, Dr Raj stated that it allows people to sleep in their preferred position without being disrupted by a partner’s movement.
He also said that people who sleep alone typically sleep more soundly and wake up feeling more rested than those who share a bed. Sleeping with a partner can often lead to disruptions such as snoring, tossing and turning, or mismatched sleep routines.
Benefits of Sleeping Alone
Sleeping alone can help you get a better night’s sleep in several ways:
- Improved sleep quality without disruptions
- No snoring or movement waking you up
- Better control over temperature and noise levels
- More personal space and comfort
- Improved energy for parenting and daily life
For these reasons, he believes that people should try to sleep alone whenever possible. While some may find the idea of sleeping alone unpleasant, Dr Raj’s argument highlights how important uninterrupted sleep is for overall wellbeing.
Some experts even recommend a “sleep divorce” when partners have conflicting sleep needs, as it can significantly improve sleep quality. Read more about it here.
Public Reaction to Couples Sleeping Separately
Dr Raj’s followers thanked him for normalising sleeping alone, with many saying it actually improved their relationships.
“Can we normalise this please! I love my husband, but I HATE sharing a bed with him. He thinks I’m horrible for thinking this,” she added.
One person wrote, “My husband sleeps in his own room lol he snores and likes the room warm. I love the room cold and quiet. Married 25 years.”
“Proof we’re not weird! Hubby and I have had separate bedrooms for years now,” someone else added.
“I 100% agree with this, my grandparents slept in separate rooms and they are the most happily married couple I’ve ever known,” another said.
Meanwhile, some people can’t sleep alone and prefer the comfort of knowing someone is right beside them.
One comment read, “I sleep a million times better with someone in my bed. I have awful PTSD nightmares and feel safe with someone.”
Others joked that “the cuddles are worth the sleep deprivation.”
Do Couples Sleep Better Together? What Research Says
While sleeping alone has clear benefits, research also suggests that sharing a bed can positively impact health and relationships.
Couples sleeping in the same bed may live longer and be in better health than people who sleep alone, experts say.
Some researchers believe that sleeping with a partner contributes to better overall health by promoting feelings of safety and emotional security. This can lead to lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol, reduced inflammation, and higher levels of oxytocin—the so-called “love hormone”—which helps ease anxiety and supports the sleep-wake cycle.
Health Benefits of Sleeping Next to Someone
Experience Better Sleep Quality
Wendy M. Troxel, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Psychology at the University of Pittsburgh, unearthed that women in stable relationships fell asleep faster and had fewer sleep disturbances in the night than single women or when couples decided to sleep alone during the experiment.
Fall asleep faster
According to research reported by Andrea Petersen (New York Journalist and critically-acclaimed author) in The Wall Street Journal, mental activity makes it difficult to sleep. This is why sleeping next to someone you love is so beneficial. They’ll give you feelings of security so you begin to relax and drift off.
Lowers your blood pressure
Researchers from the University of North California carried out a sleep and intimacy experiment with 59 women. They asked all participants to diarise their hugs and cuddles, with their oxytocin levels and blood pressure checked on a regular basis.
The findings were that those with the highest levels of oxytocin had the lowest blood pressure.
Read more about oxytocin here.
Improves your immune system
Sexually active people take fewer sick days.
Scientists from Wilkes University in Pennsylvania examined couples who were regularly intimate. They discovered that sexually active partners were more resistant to common colds and the flu because they produced more antibodies.
Reduces Anxiety
Research shows that laying beside a loved one is great for your psychological well-being. The Assistant Professor of Psychology, James Coan, administered MRIs to 16 married women and warned them they might experience some type of shock.
When the women held each other’s hands their stress levels decreased, but when they held hands with their husbands, the women became even more relaxed.
Slows down aging
Quality time together cuddling, and, having sex, can actually shed years off you.
Scottish neuropsychologist David Weeks wrote in Secrets of the Superyoung that under these conditions and when you’ve got lower stress levels, your body feels a lot younger – 10 years younger!
Improves Relationships
Psychologist Professor Richard Wiseman, from the University of Hertfordshire, surveyed 1,000 people to gauge whether snuggling up to someone in bed has any effects on your relationship.
It would seem that couples that sleep in bed together, stay together.
Reduces Inflammation
Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh firmly believe that sleeping next to someone reduces cortisol levels. When this is reduced, so are cytokines, proteins that are involved in inflammation and can lead to pain.
Start With Your Sleep Setup First
Before considering sleeping separately, it’s worth looking at what might already be affecting your sleep — like your mattress.
A supportive, high-quality mattress can reduce movement disruption and help you stay comfortable throughout the night. The Origin Hybrid Mattress, for example, combines memory foam, pocket springs and natural latex to improve sleep quality and minimise disturbances.
So, Is It Better to Sleep Alone or Together?
At the end of the day, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
Sleeping alone may improve sleep quality, especially for light sleepers, parents, or couples with different routines. On the other hand, sharing a bed can strengthen emotional bonds and provide comfort and security.
The most important thing is simple: getting enough quality sleep to support your health, your relationship, and your ability to handle the demands of everyday life.
We are interested to hear. Do you sleep better alone, or with your partner beside you?
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