4. Understand Your Differences
When your children are young, it’s nice to think that they might turn out to be just like you. However as they grow, it’s clear that they’re booming their own little people, who as time goes on, will eventually become big people.
One of the key things to understand as the parent of an adult child is that you aren’t the same. Being aware of the differences between the two of you in terms of how you do things, and how you think about things, is so important, as is respecting those differences instead of claiming that ‘your way’ is the best way.
5. Don’t Stop Them Developing Independence
It’s not that uncommon these days for adult children to move back in with their parents at some point, or simply start their adult life having never left the family home. As a parent, it’s nice that your kids are still around with you, but that doesn’t mean they can’t still be developing independence.
Even if they’re still children in your eyes, adult kids living in the family home need to take on responsibilities. Have them pay rent, along with a portion towards bills and food, and make sure they’re helping around the house. Also be clear that if they’re adults and they want to be treated as such, that means no more paying for their phones or their health insurance. Get them standing on their own two feet!
6. Understand That Their Priorities Will Change
As your children grow into adults, their priorities change. When they get involved in their careers, meet the love of their life, and start having families of their own, there are more demands on their time than ever before.
While they still love you, and always will, they may simply not be able to spend as much time with you as they once did. Understand that not every holiday can be a family event, sometimes, they’ll want to spend time with their own partner, their children, or their partner’s family. There are demands coming at them from you and from their partner’s family, so it’s important to respect that.
7. Don’t Criticise Them As Parents
One of the worst things that parents can do with their adult children is criticise or judge them on how they’re parenting their own kids. We all have our own way of doing things, and nobody is perfect (including you!), so before you open your mouth to talk to them about the fact that they aren’t doing a good job, pause for a moment.
Think about how you would feel if your own parents had said the same thing about how you chose to parent your kids, and what you might have said. Nobody like to be criticised, so avoid it for harmonious relationships.
What tips do you have for parenting adult children?
Have your say!