7 Ways To Deal With Favouritism In Your Kids

It’s a hard truth, but kids often favour one parent over another.

At various points in their life, often started when they’re toddlers or even earlier, they constantly reach for one parent over the other, leaving some people hurt. So what’s a parent to do when their own child doesn’t seem to want to do anything with them, and constantly rejects them in favour of their other parent? Well, here are a few things we’d suggest, just to get you through it.

1. Don’t React Negatively

This is a totally normal stage of your child’s development, so the last thing you want to do is react negatively when they express their favouritism. Kids shouldn’t feel guilty for loving their parent, and even if favouritism is present, you can’t make kids feel bad about that. While it certainly does sting when kids express more love for one parent over another, anger about the situation should be avoided at all costs.

2. Make Sure Each Parent Works

via mnn.com When the workload between parents isn’t shared equally, it’s easy to see how favouritism can blossom. For example, if one parent is always doing the chores, taking care of basic needs, cooking and so on, while the other parent seems to be playing all the time, it’s no surprise that kids tend to enjoy the playful parent more. This is also true when parents fall into a good cop/bad cop routine around discipline, where one parent is always taking care of the disciplining, leading kids to think that the other parent is more easy going and loveable. In this case, it’s best to change things up so both parents are equally firm in discipline and punishments as required.

3. Understand There’s A Reason

Kids often favour the parent they get to see less, which can really hurt the parent who acts as a primary caregiver and feels as though they’re putting in all the hard work just so the other parent can get the love. However, when you unpack the reason behind this favouritism, it’s much easier to understand it. To kids, there’s a sense of urgency involved and they feel like they really – need to see and spend time with that parent while they have them. Understand that it’s just a phase, there’s a logical reason behind it, and they definitely don’t love you less, despite what their unfiltered mouths might say.

Next Page: More’Ways To Deal With Favouritism In Your Kids

4. Connect With Them (ie. They love daddy, so do you!)

If you really feel that your child is pushing you away in their favouritism towards the other parent, try and connect with them through that shared love. For example, if they’re constantly talking about how they miss Daddy and can’t wait for him to be home, commiserate. Let them know you’re also missing Daddy, and that you love him – sooooo much, and maybe when he gets home, you can all do something together. This way, they see that they’re a part of a family, not just a duo.

5. Have A Schedule

For parents often butting heads with their children about having the ‘favourite’ parent do something with them, it might be better to have a predictable schedule to stick to. Kids do well within a structured setting, and alternating between certain activities in a regular and predictable way makes it easy for both parents to get a chance to spend one-on-one time with the child, and for the child to also be happy with the situation. Be careful not to make promises you can’t keep, because that is going to mess with your child’s trust in the schedule.

6. Talk To Your Partner

via halifach.blogspot.com Regardless of which side of the favouritism you’re on, it’s important that you and your partner have an honest discussion about how you plan to tackle it together. While favouritism is just another stage of a child’s life, and is common, that doesn’t make it any easier for the parent being neglected. Have a talk with your partner about how to strike a balance in your family to ensure that nobody is being left out, and make sure the favoured parent is working hard to keep the other parent included.

7. Keep Your Focus On Love

via The Marriage and Family Clinic Favouritism in kids towards one parent or another is just a phase, and like all phases, it will pass eventually. Until it does, the best advice we can give is to stay focused on the positive aspects of your relationship with your child, and keep the love you share with them constant. Kids aren’t always mature enough to see what’s right in front of them, so it’s important that as a parent, you don’t lose hope’in your own ability as a parent, or your child’s love for you.

How did you deal with favouritism among your children?