The first time you send your little one off to daycare, kindy or pre-prep is a huge deal!
It’s a milestone that is surrounded by much planning and preparation and then captured in full colour by about 30 pictures snapped on your phone camera. I remember it well ‘Look this way, now mummy will take a photo of you getting in the car with your big boy bag..look the other way, mummy will take a photo of you getting out of the car’, oh yes, that was me too.
First Time Away From Home
That first day of Pre-Prep was full of excitement (for the big boy) and nerves (for me) as we set out on our schooling adventure. Notice I say ‘our’ schooling adventure? As mums we are as much a part of this as the kids are, it’s a pretty special time!
It was also a bit scary (again for me), especially the first time they are heading off alone, ok, there are 21 other kids and 3 teachers in the room so they are by no means alone, but you get what I mean. It’s kind of hard to hand over the responsibility reigns that you’ve held for your child from day one. All of a sudden it’s another adult’s job to make sure they wash their hands before they eat, after they pee and if they’re covered in paint. At this point in time, it’s important to keep in mind that those other adults are at least ready and qualified to take on the job, holding at least a Certificate III in Early Childhood Education.
Still, I had all the worried thoughts – what if he doesn’t eat enough lunch, what if he chokes on his lunch, what if he forgets where the toilet is, what if he forgets where he is in general and freaks out? Yeah, I over-thought it well and good. Turns out he’s a child, not an idiot, he didn’t forget where he was and didn’t have a freak-out.
Will He Cope, He’s Never Been Without Us?
We arrived, greeted our lovely teachers, put our bag in a selected picture locker, lunch box in the fridge (right near the obvious toilet room) and sat cuddled together with his baby brother on the colourful mat. After the morning song and a rundown of what our children’s day would consist of, the kids were asked to say goodbye to whoever brought them.
This is when I thought it would all go to hell in a handbag. A few people had said he wouldn’t cope because he’d never been to daycare and had only been looked after by close family, so kindy was going to be hard. I am, by no means anti-daycare, I’m high-fiving all the mummies who use DC and do what they have to do to help support their family. We have been extremely lucky to have my parents available when I have had to work, hence no other care has been needed. I wondered if it was indeed, going to make the first day of pre-prep difficult with separation anxiety.
Very happily, it seems, it did not! My suddenly very confident three-and-a-half-year-old turned and gave me a huge cuddle, during which I promised to be back at pick up time, and then went to sit at his teacher’s feet with the other kids for a story. Or something that was way more interesting than me apparently. I left the room a bit bewildered and wondered when exactly my baby grew up into a big boy.
I was back to pick him up half an hour too early and first in the door, tears pooling and making teachers cry too. It was a reunion I’ll never forget. He had a great day.
Change Of Routine
Remember that all children are different, with different responses to change and places, so it’s hard to guess what your child will be like until you are in that exact situation, but there are ways to help you both prepare for the change!
Change of routine for most kids is up there with eating sprouts, the squishy Brussels kind, they aren’t fans at all. Children thrive on routine and though it’s cool to have some little changes and things to look forward to, but massive changes without prior warning are generally unwelcome and met with very little co-operation.
Well before the school term begins, try starting your day in a similar way to how you will on a real school day. Rather than lazing in front of Fireman Sam until 8 am get everyone dressed and fed and outside (even if you don’t leave the house) by that time. Do it gradually, getting earlier by 15 minutes every few days and make a game of getting ready to play early for a bit and watch how it gets easier.
It’ll be so much better than waking up on the first day of term, expecting everyone to eat straight away, get dressed, have very little TV and head off to a new place. That’s just asking for fallout!
Food For The Mood
Some habits are hard to break when the stomach is in control. Though we got off on a good note, steadily heading into winter my buddy stopped wanting to eat straight away in the morning, much less get out of his warm jammies, so a compromise had to be made. Little brains need brekkie to function properly and morning tea is far too long to wait, so I buttered up some split weet bix, spread them with vegemite and served them in the car on the way to school. It was messy, but it got us past a rough spot and I used the extra time to wrestle pj’s off and day clothes on. Next winter, he’s wearing them to bed.
Getting your little ones used to eating from a lunch box is a good idea too. They see lots of containers when you head to the park or pool, but usually, its mum opening them, so packing a ‘real’ one and seeing which containers they can handle might help to pave the way. Teachers will always assist opening lunch containers, but it’s a real big kid thing to be able to open their own stuff.
If your school has a ‘no sugary foods’ request for lunchboxes on their agenda, by all means stick with it, it’s a great way for your little ones to avoid the afternoon blood sugar low at slump o’clock that follows having a treat-filled lunchbox. I noticed that slump o’clock also coincides with pick up time, so it’s me that has to deal with a crazy, cranky child if I pack any sugary foods! I was putting in a muesli bar at first, such a rookie error, they make out to be so good for you”
We, of course, do have treats at our place, but they are kept for special times and definitely not at kindy. I had to explain this in the first week when my little fella came home asking ‘Mum, why don’t you pack me a treat?’ ‘Treats are for at home for us to enjoy together’ was my response and lucky for me it was happily accepted!
Afternoon Pick-ups 101
At morning drop off, you’ve kissed and hugged your young one (so they know you’ve gone, it’s super important) and promised you’ll be back to get them at pick up time. So don’t bloody well be late! Obviously, emergencies will happen, but if you can get there with plenty of time to spare you’ll come up roses each time. My child knows when I’ve only just made it, I get the stink eye coupled with ‘Why were you last in the door?’ oh yes, nothing gets missed.
You would think then because he was so eagerly waiting to see me, that he would also be bursting with stories of his exciting day. Bar a small amount of ‘good’, ‘fun’, ‘motorbike’ information, this was not the case. After the initial celebration of our reunion, I have learnt to follow the protocol of minimal chatting whilst he relaxes in the car on the way home. My Spanish inquisition regarding his day of kindy activities just has to wait until he’s ready. It’s like he has to totally unwind from his hard day of work before he’s ready for discussion!
Lucky the teachers take lots of notes and photos during the day for us parents!
Find Your Happy Place
Going for a visit to your chosen Daycare or Kindy and meeting the staff the year before starting there for a few plays can help dramatically improve your chances for an easy transition. Talking about those visits and the great things there are to do there keeps the memory fresh so that when you venture back it’s not such a new and different place.
When we discussed such visits, my buddy would ask ‘So you’ll stay too?’ and each time I replied honestly and simply ‘No, you get to stay with all the other kids and play, you’re teachers will look after you and I will be back to pick you up’ Every single time. After about seven exact same discussions were had, the idea was no longer foreign and was not the worst thing in the world to be heading towards.
Not A Perfect Score
Obviously, I did something right, having had our very cautious and always close-by little man transition from home to pre-prep so easily, but that’s not to say we didn’t have our hard days. We’ve had the kleenex moments.
Babies and children have a pre-frontal lobe that picks up on the surrounding emotional atmosphere in about 20 seconds and on the days when I felt stressed (too rushed) or sad and worried, I can see the little guys both had a difficult time.
Sometimes it can just be that they are tired or feeling unwell too. Whatever the reason, don’t worry if your child has off-days, it happens to all of them just the way it happens to us big kids too.
Tough Times
Goodness knows I wish myself luck every morning and give myself a mental pat on the back of a night time if we’ve made it through a school routine day relatively calmly and emotionally unscathed. I know how lucky I am to have those days.
It’s important that I add a big hug to the parents who’s little people have a really hard time each daycare or kindy drop-off. Your trust and support will enable kids to find ways in ironing out the transition from home to early education without the anxiety.
If your little person is one who doesn’t do well at separation time, whether or not they’ve been at home full-time or in daycare in the past, won’t make any difference. It’s a developmental stage that will be overcome eventually. Have patience with them and have confidence in yourself that you can handle it. This too shall pass.
How did you help your kids’ transition to daycare or kindy?
Stay at home doggy mom. I’m a cancer. I have 2 19 week old rottweiler puppies. They are so affectionate…