I have a reputation in our house of always, without fail, picking shit movies. I don’t do it on purpose. I just seem to be incapable of selecting one that every enjoys and at the end�says ‘that was brilliant!’ Instead I get�looks of ‘what the hell was that? I’ve just wasted�two hours of my life I’ll never get back!’
I must admit I’m often sucked in by the title, I mean who wouldn’t want to watch a film with the title ‘Dogging’. Apparently not too many others. I also like foreign films,�an acquired taste, but some hate to spend the whole movie reading.�I quite like them -�maybe it makes me feel cultured. I promise it has nothing to do with all�the sex.
So while on the rare chance I was allowed the remote I flicked through the movie channels and found on World Movies a Japanese film, ‘In the Realm of the Senses’. I read the info to see it had been banned for 20 years in Japan! So yes the curiosity got the better of me. I assumed it couldn’t be too bad because the Japanese always are so polite. Oh god how wrong could I be?
When I tuned in,�a man was putting his hand between the lady’s legs beside him, only for her to say ‘No. I have my period.’ His response? He then put his finger in his mouth. Yuck! (I’m sure we just all said that out loud together). I’m with you – so gross but I was drawn to keep watching. There is a dark side to me. Also, the movie had�got the attention of the others in the room and I thought maybe I had finally cracked it with my cultured films? Then again maybe not. Turns out the chick is a geisha who falls in love with a married man. I’m not sure she’s actually in love with the man but rather his cock. She is obsessed with it if she isn’t taking it for a walk -�and I mean she was literally walking the man around by his dick – she’s got at least one set of her lips on it.
You see it all. I’m kind of feeling like I’ve stumbled on a badly made porno. This woman can’t get enough. The movie was made in the seventies so there’s definitely been know vagazaling happening its all proper bush.
I’m like a moth being drawn to the light -�I can’t turn away, I’ve even picked up a Japanese accent as I read the subtitles in my head. I’ve also decided that I’m laying off the Asian inspired food for a few weeks after watching the man dip his food on his chop sticks into the lady’s bits for extra flavour, then eat it. I’m just as�happy with soya sauce really. As for eggs – I’ll never look at a hardboiled egg quite the same and I have a lot more respect for chickens.�This movie just took food sex to a whole new level.
You feel like telling her to settle down! I was�sure she was going to break her lady bits, the�she�started going a little more off the rails. She wanted to cut off his penis so she could have it all the time.�What the? Super wrong. The film got the better of me and I ended up switching it off.
So I can’t spoil the ending of it for you and it’s definitely not a film for everyone. But it did give us a few shocked giggles and that’s probably what will stick in our minds. Oh, and I’m banned from the remote again.
I get what you’re saying, and yeah, those cases where people meet as adults can explain why the attraction happens.…