# How To Meditate When You Have Kids

- Link: https://stayathomemum.com.au/wellbeing/mind-mental-health/meditate-kids/
- Published: 2014-08-25T20:00:32+10:00
- Author: Saskia Brown

In the beginning, having children seems like a great idea. But somewhere along the
way you realise that, if you are going to avoid burning water and losing your phone
in the fridge, again, then you have to take a moment; to take a moment. To be an
effective mother you need to be resilient, calm and have a strong handle on your
emotions even in the face of challenges that would reduce other adults to tears.

Being a parent means you rarely have time to yourself. When you become consumed 
with anything, regardless of how enjoyable it was to begin with, you can end up 
becoming resentful, or tired of it and that’s where anger, frustration and impatience
take place.

Meditation comes in many forms. Time out through meditation helps you to undo the
years of conditioning that we have to do more than one thing at a time, to juggle,
and hurry, and do more than before. At its simplest, it is taking a few minutes 
in one block, each day, to allow yourself to be an individual. Set aside, for just
a small block of time, a space to practise finding a balance and calmness in your
life.

There are studies around that show clearly that meditation helps with a range of
mental illnesses and that it can help manage periods of intense stress, change and
challenge. If that doesn’t describe motherhood to you, then I don’t know what else
might! Meditation decreases your stress hormone responses in the part of the brain
that manages the whole body so it reduces the side effects of stress too short temper,
not sleeping, not being able to focus or remember in the short term, high blood 
pressure and so on. Meditation activates the bits of the brain that control emotions
too, so it calms you down and gives you more depth to cope better than you did before.

**All you need is 10 minutes a day.**

The way to meditate with children is to start off by making a space in your life
for the idea. This is probably the hardest and biggest step because it means acknowledging
that you can’t do more than one thing at a time and in those minutes you aren’t 
going to even be doing one thing. You have to be strong about your boundaries for
this one too. You deserve 10 minutes a day.

 * Make it a part of your routine. Get up 10 minutes early and simply sit beside
   the bed in your room, in the empty bath or where ever you can be comfortable.
 * Focus on your breathing and **just** on your breathing.
 * Breathe out, then fill your tummy, your diaphragm, your ribs and your collarbone.
   Count to 4 as you do, hold for one, then breathe out slowly to the count of 4.
   Pause at the bottom of the exhalation.
 * Close your eyes and just focus on your breath. Focus your thoughts on the simplest
   of acts and feel your mind quiet. Excited thoughts and pressing problems will
   try to barge in on this quiet time, and demand that you worry at them instead.
 * Be patient with the process of learning and of meditating, and commit to 10 minutes
   of just _being_.
 * Give yourself a few moments at the end to allow your thoughts to flood back in

**At a pinch.**

 * Meditate while you’re doing something otherwise mindless, such as hanging the
   washing up or washing the dishes.
 * Set the kids up in a kid-fabulous room, with lots of things that don’t require
   supervision, and sit with them. They will come and check in with you now and 
   again and you can pause and respond, or just keep at it, depending on how blood
   curdling the screams are.
 * Learn to meditate with a focus point, such as a candle. If a real candle is too
   much of a challenge with small children, download a candle app for your phone
   instead.
 * Download an app to guide your meditation. Some use a mantra or phrase to focus
   your mind _on_ something, rather than on nothing.

Meditation is about taking yourself to a quiet place, to clear your mind and concentrate
on your soul. Do you meditate? Do you think if it helped you to manage other people’s
lives as well as your own stress, you could do it for a few minutes each day? Try
it and tell us how you found it.

![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/beaab5002cb6667a505a36ea1719c987c9b9ec49b183cbd4df7338b99b3292c5?
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 Saskia Brown

 Saskia is mama wearing lots of different hats while parenting two small girls. 
She is a midwife, is married to a scientist and lives in the Adelaide Hills in South
Australia. When she's not juggling parenting and working, she likes to do a lot 
of walking, photography and crafting. She enjoys yoga when the childerbeasts are
asleep, writing when the mood strikes, reading a good organisational blog or dreaming
of far off places.

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