Fears Of A FIFO Worker

There is nothing easy about being a FIFO wife. I am often met with responses like, “It’s a lifestyle choice” or “Well, why do you do it?” with the added eye roll. The reason we personally “choose” to do it is because mining is the industry my husband has worked in for 15+ years. He started when he was young when the world was his oyster, before we were married and had children. He has limited experience in other industries and it’s all that he knows.

When I think about it, the lifestyle is probably harder on him than me. After all, I am home. We often hear how hard it is on the wife and children. Whether your husband is a miner, truck driver, shearer; or in the defence force, there are many men who are away from their family for work reasons. But how often do we stop and consider the impact the lifestyle has on them? �It is common knowledge men are not good at expressing their emotions so their fears are often swept under the carpet.

Trust

Being away from home so often, no matter how strong your relationship is, there will often come a time when your husband will fear the worst; that you are seeing someone else. Even if you haven’t actually done anything to encourage these feelings, it only takes a story from a work mate about how his missus cheated on him and that could be enough to make him doubt you. This is often because of their own insecurities and they may need some reassurance from you. The thing is, a cheating partner can happen in any relationship, at any time. It is not restricted to FIFO families. Me personally, there aren’t enough hours in the day to even consider another man! Unless it is Channing Tatum in Magic Mike on a Friday night”�then maybe.

Family Events and Milestones

It is no secret that if your husband works away, they will miss out on some important family events, Christmas and even some of the kid’s milestones. This will hurt them. They will feel like they have missed out. The fact is they do miss out, a lot. That is one of the sacrifices they make by working away. There is little you can do unless you plan holidays well in advance but there are some things you can do to make them feel more involved.

• Skype regularly at meal times or even at important events like birthdays or weddings
• Send photos and videos every day
• Organise birthday parties and family events when they are home
• Send letters, drawings and photographs

�Men? Who needs them?

Many FIFO wives become extremely independent and run a tight ship when their husbands work away. Hubby comes home and boom! Routine is in chaos, you are madly trying to organise the kids and your husband is standing sheepishly in the corner feeling obsolete. Don’t get mad at him for causing such upheaval and whatever you do, don’t start barking orders at him. Get him involved have him dish up dinner, run the bath, whatever. Make him feel useful rather than an inconvenience. He loves his family, he wants to help but when he works away for long periods, he may forget the household routine.

The FIFO life isn’t for everyone but there are thousands of families that do it every day. There are many positives to the lifestyle but it is a balancing act. It is about what works for you and your family.

Are you a FIFO family? What does your husband fear? How do you keep him involved in daily home life?

Kelly Ninyette

Kelly Ninyette, a long time public servant, is currently on maternity leave. Kelly is a blogger, a FIFO wife and a SAHM to her 15 year old step daughter and one year old son. When she is not changing nappies or trying to avoid questions about algebra homework, she can be found in the kitchen cooking up a storm, at her craft desk crafting away or hiding away in the bedroom typing an article or reading a book.

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