# Putting Up With Peer Pressure Amongst Parents

- Link: https://stayathomemum.com.au/family/parenting/peer-pressure-parents/
- Published: 2014-09-18T20:00:14+10:00
- Author: Nicole Tresize

Peer pressure is often something we associate with teenagers. And while it is certainly
very common in our adolescent years, most would agree that you never really outgrow
feeling peer pressure. Instead, it just changes form as you get older. Peer pressure
is that push you feel to change your behaviour or beliefs in order to ‘fit in’ with
the majority. But what is it that drives us to want to be the same as everyone else?
What is so good, after all, about fitting into the norm?

The first obvious answer is for acceptance and a sense of belonging. It is important
to feel both accepted and that we belong within our peer group. This will never 
feel more important than when you are a brand new parent. However, peer pressure
becomes a problem when you allow the pressures of your peers to make you act in 
a way that contradicts your own beliefs or value system on the given topic.

I experienced a great example of this about 6 months ago with my then 1 year old
son. All the Mums I knew, respected and had friendships with, were enrolling their
toddlers in classes. These ranged from swimming, to music lessons, to gym classes
for kids. They were easily able to do this as their children had dropped to one 
sleep during the day (generally in the middle of the day) and classes were either
first thing in the morning or late afternoon. Despite the fact that no classes really
suited us because my son was still having two sleeps, I felt immense pressure to
enrol him in something. So we signed up for a class.⌊Parent and child enjoying a
swim highlighting family bonding and peer pressure challenges⌉ But about 4 weeks
into the class, I had to take a serious reality check and admit that my poor son
was not benefiting from or enjoying the class at all. In a nutshell, I had to wake
him from his afternoon nap to attend the class, hence he was unhappy if not crying
for most of the class and/or we would spend a lot of the class snuggling on a chair
outside so I could settle him. Speaking personally, attending the class meant I 
was giving up much needed housework/cooking time during my son’s nap time to get
to this class. Basically, I ended up having to admit that the class had absolutely
no benefit to either for us in any way whatsoever! So I had to ask myself, what 
on earth we were doing there? The answer was as simple as it was depressing; we 
were going because I felt driven to fit in with my peers and for no other reason.
From that moment to this we have not attended another class. Now, by no means am
I saying that classes for toddlers are bad, in fact we look forward to enrolling
my son (finally going down to a one nap!) in swimming lessons in the warmer months
later this year and possibly music lessons as well. But when we do, it will be at
a time that suits our family and for our enjoyment and benefit alone, not to conform
to any peer pressure.

**Getting it Right.**

Being a parent is like being an apprentice. While it is important to get proper 
instruction from people with more experience as well as listen to advice and recommendations,
you really have to just get in there and find your own way of doing things. What
works for your peers may or may not work for you and that’s perfectly okay! The 
most important thing is to ensure that you are being driven by your family’s (as
well as your own) needs and not just following the crowd for no other reason than
to belong, as that is a recipe for unhappiness.

Oh, and don’t worry if the way you go about doing things isn’t always what everyone
else is doing. I can guarantee that you won’t lose a single REAL friend if you’re
doing things differently to them. In fact, they will probably respect the fact that
you’re confident enough to be different!

Do you ever feel pressure from other parents to ‘fit in’?

![author avatar](https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/59eafd9ee6fa3789a5271ae1357a13b0cce7c0182004cbf47cefbb852e1576e4?
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 Nicole Tresize

 Nicole Tresize is a mother to one son and wife to a fabulous man who happens to
be a teacher. They live in Coburg North, VIC. She works part time as a Hepatology
Clinical Nurse Consultant, but other than her family and friends, her main passion
is her work as a writer. She is often guilty of talking a willing or not so willing
ear off with her latest aspirations, dramas and ambitions. She loves to make others
laugh with what she would like to think is a unique and witty sense of humour. She
is definitely an all or nothing kind of woman, with a weakness for a good red when
catching up with friends or even just while cooking up meals for her family.

 [See Full Bio](https://stayathomemum.com.au/author/nicoletresize/) [  ](https://stayathomemum.com.au/author/nicoletresize/)