As soon as you have a baby people start asking, ‘so when’s the next one coming along?’ And, sooner or later, this may be something that you are thinking about. Some people choose to have a very small age gap between their babies as this provides a playmate for life and can also make it a lot easier to raise them together; while others prefer to have a break between babies and take a breather before going through it all over again. So what are some of the pros to taking your time and leaving a larger age difference between your little ones? Here are some of the benefits we could think of:
More attention
One of the biggest benefits to waiting between bubs is that your older one will be a little more independent and you can spend more time with your new bub. For example, your older one could be in school already and you have the school hours to spend time with your little one without having to share your attention between siblings.
Less Jealousy
Older children are also a little less inclined to feel resentful over a new baby. Younger children, such as toddlers, can get quite upset about sharing mummy with a new baby and may act out because of this. Of course, it is up to you as super mum to balance your children, regardless of the age gap. While your older one may be happy to play on their own, it is still important to dedicate one on one time with them each and every day.
More Control
With an older child you may have a pretty good routine in place and your life may be a little less chaotic. They probably won’t nap anymore and have a set bedtime, wake time and meal time plan in place. The first couple of years with a new baby can be difficult and it’s a learning process to establish a regular routine that caters to you both. When you introduce a new baby into the world with an older child, it is often easier to adapt bub into your already established routine.
Less Exhaustion
With an older child you have most likely kissed those sleepless nights goodbye. Sure, your little one may wake up once if they wet the bed or if they are sick but you are probably enjoying a better night’s sleep and thus are a little more ready to tackle the sleepless nights and exhaustion all over again.
More Help
And, finally, with an older child you may find that you can convince him or her to actually help out. Rather than having a toddler crying at your leg demanding attention during the baby’s bath time, your older child may be happy to help out. They may be happy to help you with a lot of the baby-related chores, from feeding to cleaning and, in time, you can use their services even more as a free or very cheap babysitter! Bonus!!!
Jenna Galley lives in Cairns, Queensland with her husband, two small children, Jacob and Jade, and dog Koah. She is a freelance writer and small business owner as well as an avid reader and wine drinker
Responses to “Benefits to a Larger Age Gap in Your Kids”
We have four children, each one born 20-21 months after the previous one. This wasn’t planned, obviously my cycle kicked in right around the first birthday after each birth. My oldest had just turned five and started prep when number 4 came along. It was a busy few years but they are all very protective of each other and are close as young adults.
I don’t agree with the large age gap, not right now anyway, there is a 10yr gap between my two and there has been a lot of resentment with the 12yrold as she had spent all that time being an only child, then wham !!!!! there is some needy, pink crying, pooping machine that has taken over the house, she had a hard time adjusting to coming second, for a many months…. and the little bundle of joy (cough cough) is 2 and she is in the throws of puberty, my god my house is a war zone…lol.. but i am ever hopeful that one day they will get along and even be in the same room together for longer than 5min without fighting and pushing each others buttons….. maybe even friends,..lol… but its improving slightly if we are lucky we get one good day a week of less fighting. 🙂
I have a 7yr gap which wasn’t how I originally wanted my children. However it is perfect. My son at 8 absolutely adores his sister and does everything for her. He baths her, feeds her, plays with her constantly, reads to her and cuddles her all the time. She in return absolutely loves her brother. Her face lights up when she sees him. I wouldn’t have it any other way now. I love the gap
I absolutely love the gap between my three. They are all seven years apart (almost exactly to the month) Boy 15, girl 8 and girl 1. As each baby came they had more of my attention as infants and the girls had the love help of older sibling/s.
We have four boys, 19mth gap between first two then 3 year gap between 2nd, 3rd and 4th. I think the positives which you have mentioned here are dependent upon the individual child apart from yes the older may be at school. What also defines a larger gap? To me three years was a large gap.
we have a 8 year gap between the eldest and our current youngest, and it works really well for us. He adores his little sister, and it’s definitely returned. we’re due to have another in a couple of weeks, and we planned for an almost 2 year age gap this time, which hopefully will work out well 🙂
My mother had a large gap between me and my sister… A 24 year gap! It was not planned to be that bigger gap but it was! I did resent being the only child when growing up and mum and I fought a lot as siblings would but I couldn’t be happier being so old and having a sibling who is now 2. I can’t have children of my own so having a baby sister doubles as a baby for me! Lol. We love eachother dearly and she runs to me as soon as she sees me screaming sissy I love sissy! It’s the best! I get to enjoy being a sister and not having the sibling revelry that most closer aged sibling eventually develop!
I have a 6.5 year gap between my two kids. I like it because I was a young mother (21) and had time to get my college education before having a 2nd child. We want another but I’m still determined to have the large gap because I’m not good with multi-tasking and it’s very cost-effective to not have 2+ children in diapers at the same time.
I love the age gap between my kids, i have 4 years which worked out better than i ever imagined, my second has special needs and has needed much more attention over the last couple of years, my eldest is now 8 and is so kind helpful and understanding he makes me so proud, i dont think i would have managed half as well if there was a smaller age gap.
There is a 3 year gap between our first two, and then a year year gap between our second and third. Truthfully, I think our 9 year old has coped better than our 6 year old with the arrival of a new baby. I think our 6 year old got used to being “the baby/youngest” and hasn’t adapted with having to share parental time with a baby. I think it’s different for every family and even every child, because my sister has her 3 kids all about 1 year apart, and the older two are always wanting to take the baby’s nappies to the bin or help their mum with something (the oldest is 3). There is a 10 year gap between me and my brother and I was really excited about his birth, and don’t recall any issues between us. Now that we are both adults, we are good friends. I think it has a lot to do with the temperament of the older kids as to how they cope with a new sibling, as well as how old they are at the time their new sibling comes along.