Mother’s Day is that special time of year when we celebrate and honour all the love, sacrifice, and hard work that mums pour into their families every single day. There are endless ways to show appreciation, but let’s be honest — some gifts are more appreciated than others.
So this year, instead of the usual dressing gowns and fluffy slippers, I thought I’d offer a few gentle, lovingly sarcastic suggestions of what would make for the perfect Mother’s Day.
A Sleep-In
To sleep in past 5am without being woken by small voices needing to wee, poo, invent a story, or break up a sibling squabble — now that would be divine.
Just once, I beg you, let me sleep past dawn.
Absolutely Nothing Pink
No more pink. I hate pink. I’ve always hated pink. Let’s declare this house a pink-free zone. I’d take brown — even bird-poo brown — over pink any day.
No Takeaway
Please, not another sad bag of greasy chips masquerading as a celebration. I’m not asking for a nine-course degustation here. Bacon and eggs will do. Even cereal — as long as you made it. Takeaway is cheating. Get into the kitchen and make me something from scratch. A pie would be nice.
A Hot Cup of Tea (or Coffee)
Imagine this: a whole cup of tea or coffee, still hot, consumed in one uninterrupted sitting — no microwave reheat needed. It doesn’t even need to be fancy. Just hot. All the way through.
A Bicker-Free Zone
Ah, peace. Not world peace — I’m realistic. Just one day without bickering. I don’t care who flushed whose Lego, or who filled whose bed with sand, or who started what. Can we manage just 24 hours of ceasefire? If actual war zones can do it, surely our lounge room can too.
Grocery Shopping — Alone
Yes, I love you. Yes, I want to spend the day with you. But I also want one blissful hour to grocery shop without someone asking for snacks, toys, or needing to wee. I’ll come back refreshed and we’ll have milk. Win-win.
A Practical (Not Pretty) Gift
Last year, my husband gave me a gurney — part power tool, part cleaning device — and it was brilliant. Sure, he probably wanted it, but it’s mine. There is nothing more satisfying than blasting grime off the patio with my mighty water wand. I could gurney all day. Honestly, I’d love another gift like that.
A Shower — Solo
Just one shower where I’m not an audience to existential questions shouted through the glass. “Where do babies come from?” “Do you have a baby in your tummy now?” “How does it get out?” I’m in a box of steam, child — go ask your father.
A Really Good Book
A truly great read I can disappear into at the end of the day. Not a car biography, not Twilight again, and no more Mills & Boon (already covered, thanks). Something from Oprah’s Book Club would be perfect. I trust her.
And finally — the hugs, kisses, and homemade gifts I get every Mother’s Day, well, they do hit differently.
There’s something uniquely beautiful about those scribbled cards, proudly recited poems, and glitter-glued masterpieces. They remind me that even if the day isn’t exactly about me, their love is.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the real mums out there — the warriors, the nurturers, the never-gets-a-hot-drink legends. You’re doing amazing.
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