# Why The Second Born Child Seriously Could Not Give a F@3K!!

- Link: https://stayathomemum.com.au/family/kids/why-the-second-born-child-seriously-could-not-give-a-fk/
- Published: 2022-08-05T07:00:00+10:00
- Author: Clare Whitfield

## _**Ever feel like your firstborn child was an absolute angel and left you with false hopes, especially when your second born child came along and you realised they were the 󠀁[devil child](https://stayathomemum.com.au/my-kids/21-photos-that-describes-life-with-toddlers/)󠁿?**_

> According to scientists, you could be right.
> **One study looked at thousands of families in Denmark and America, and found 
> that the child born second in the family is likely to be more challenging. Even
> more so if he’s a boy.**

Being the second born child has its perks. For example, second born kids often get
hand-me-downs from their older sibling which can save parents a lot of money. Second
born children are also usually more relaxed because their parents have already gone
through the challenges of raising a firstborn.

As a result, second born children often have an easygoing personality. However, 
there is one downside to being the second born child: always being compared to your
older sibling. It’s tough enough trying to live up to your own expectations, but
when you’re constantly being compared to someone else, it can be even harder. As
the second born child, you might feel like you can never measure up.

However, it’s important to remember that everyone is unique and has their own special
talents. Just because you’re not exactly like your sibling doesn’t mean that you’re
not amazing in your own way. So don’t let comparison get you down – embrace your
inner secondborn child and show the world what you’re made of!

---

## **Recommended Posts:**

 * [Oldest? Youngest? Middle? Here’s What Your Birth Order Says About You](https://stayathomemum.com.au/my-kids/oldest-youngest-middle-heres-what-your-birth-order-says-about-you/)
 * [The Second Born Child](https://stayathomemum.com.au/my-kids/parenting-style/second-born-child/)
 * [Is It Bad to Have a Favourite Child? Because I Definitely Do!](https://stayathomemum.com.au/my-kids/behaviour/is-it-bad-to-have-a-favourite-child-because-i-definitely-do/)
 * [Are You Ready For A Second Baby?](https://stayathomemum.com.au/my-kids/babies/are-you-ready-for-a-second-baby/)
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>  [@.l_a_u_r_a_](https://www.tiktok.com/@.l_a_u_r_a_?refer=embed)
> [#SecondChild](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/secondchild?refer=embed) [#WildChild](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/wildchild?refer=embed)
> [#kidstiktok](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/kidstiktok?refer=embed) [#Baylor](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/baylor?refer=embed)
> [#Chaos](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/chaos?refer=embed) [#BlueEyedGirl](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/blueeyedgirl?refer=embed)
> [#fypシ](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/fyp%E3%82%B7?refer=embed)
>  [♬ Second Born Child CTGRAY – CTGRAY](https://www.tiktok.com/music/Second-Born-Child-CTGRAY-6844934375130352390?refer=embed)

Researcher Joseph Doyle, who led the study, also found the second born child is 
likely to have more behavioural issues than the first born.

The study found second born boys are 20% to 40% more likely to be disciplined in
school and enter the criminal justice system compared to first-born boys, even when
we compare [them with] siblings. –

> _“Second born children, compared to their older siblings, are much more likely
> to[ end up in prison](https://stayathomemum.com.au/true-crime-series/the-three-parent-types-that-are-most-likely-to-raise-a-murderer/),
> much more likely to get suspended in school, enter juvenile delinquency. Across
> all these outcomes, we’re getting 25 to 40 percent increases in the likelihood
> of these outcomes just by comparing a second born sibling compared to a first-
> born.”_

![attention parents give their second born child](https://i0.wp.com/img.freepik.
com/free-photo/banner-with-surprised-children-peeking-edge_155003-13452.jpg?ssl=
1)

## **It’s all your fault!**

Researchers claim it might be due to the level of attention parents give their second
born child.
Gee thanks, parent guilt much!?

> The researchers said, _“We consider differences in parental attention as a potential
> contributing factor to the gaps in delinquency across the birth order. Second 
> born children tend to have less maternal attention than do their older siblings
> because first-born children experience their mother’s maternity leaves and temporarily
> reduced labor market participation both following their own births as well as 
> following the birth of the second born. – _
> 
> According to Joseph Doyle,  it also comes down to who the second born looks up
> to. _ – The firstborn has role models, who are adults. And the second, later-born
> children have role models who are slightly irrational 2-year-olds, you know, their
> older siblings, – _ said Doyle.

## **Birth order matters**

>  [@risethriverepeat_therapy](https://www.tiktok.com/@risethriverepeat_therapy?refer=embed)
> The concept of birth order part 2 [#birthorder](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/birthorder?refer=embed)
> [#alfredadler](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/alfredadler?refer=embed) [#fyp](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/fyp?refer=embed)
> [#therapy](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/therapy?refer=embed) [#therapist](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/therapist?refer=embed)
> [#mentalhealthmatters](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/mentalhealthmatters?refer=embed)
> [#mentalhealth](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/mentalhealth?refer=embed) [#psychology](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/psychology?refer=embed)
> [#counseling](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/counseling?refer=embed) 
>  [♬ Sad Emotional Piano – DS Productions](https://www.tiktok.com/music/Sad-Emotional-Piano-6841255111478478849?refer=embed)

TikTok creator Tristan Collazo posted a series of videos explaining how birth order
can impact your personality and relationship with your siblings. He explains that
children who are the oldest are usually more responsible and helpful, however, they
are also often perfectionists.

> _“[Adler’s theory] states that a person’s birth order plays a major role in how
> an individual’s personality is shaped.”_
> _“Families place unrealistic expectations
> on the [eldest child](https://stayathomemum.com.au/my-lifestyle/education/elder-siblings-really-are-the-smartest/)
> and because they are no longer the only child, they must adapt and change, in 
> turn, they become perfectionists, people-pleasers and authoritative, yet extremely
> helpful.”_

The second born child knows from when they are born they have to share the attention
of their parents.

> _“Their older siblings serve as a role model but also spark a competitive fire
> as they strive to catch up and surpass their older sibling,_” he says.
> 
> _“In turn, they may be more likely to be better adjusted in life, they are more
> competitive, peacemakers, people-pleasers, rebellious and always gaining new abilities.”_

## **Don’t compare your kids!**

![Second born child can be problematic](https://i0.wp.com/stayathomemum.com.au/wp-
content/uploads/2021/05/bigstock-Angry-Mother-Shout-At-Her-Naug-397161407.jpg?quality
=89&ssl=1)

A 2015 Brigham Young University study found that how you treat your kids and compare
them to each other has a significant impact on how they’ll act, especially in terms
of sibling rivalry. If you constantly compare your second child to the first, you’ll
breed resentment. Resentment leads to anger, which in turn leads to acting out.

## **6 Curses of the Second Born Child**

> 1. The second born child shows a craving for mischief.
> 2. The oldest sibling wants
> nothing to do with the second born child.3. Pets run like hell when they see the
> second born coming.4. Bedtime for the second born takes 10 – 120 minutes longer
> than it does for everyone else.5. Stubborn takes on a whole new level.6. Dare 
> devil plus. You better get yourself some good health insurance!

## **These 󠀁[funny videos](https://stayathomemum.com.au/video/videos-to-laugh-at-funny-dog-fails/)󠁿 prove our point!**

>  [@_paigecraig](https://www.tiktok.com/@_paigecraig?refer=embed)
> True true and true. [#secondchild](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/secondchild?refer=embed)
> [#parentsoftiktok](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/parentsoftiktok?refer=embed) [#mykids](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/mykids?refer=embed)
> [#prayforme](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/prayforme?refer=embed)
>  [♬ Second Born Child CTGRAY – CTGRAY](https://www.tiktok.com/music/Second-Born-Child-CTGRAY-6844934375130352390?refer=embed)

>  [@mrs.kelseyryann](https://www.tiktok.com/@mrs.kelseyryann?refer=embed)
> [#WeekendVibes](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/weekendvibes?refer=embed) [#babiesoftiktok](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/babiesoftiktok?refer=embed)
> [#parentsoftiktok](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/parentsoftiktok?refer=embed) [#momsoftiktok](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/momsoftiktok?refer=embed)
> [#secondchild](https://www.tiktok.com/tag/secondchild?refer=embed) not even a 
> year old and she cracked the system
>  [♬ Second Born Child CTGRAY – CTGRAY](https://www.tiktok.com/music/Second-Born-Child-CTGRAY-6844934375130352390?refer=embed)

---

## **Why do most second born kids seem to feel like they don’t have to try as hard as their siblings?**

Second born children often feel like they don’t have to try as[ hard as their siblings. ](https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/sibling-rivalry.html)
One reason for this may be that second born children receive less attention from
their parents. With the first child, everything is new and exciting, and parents
are more likely to be attentive and doting.

By the time the second child comes along, however, parents may be more relaxed and
less likely to hover. As a result, second born children may feel like they have 
to work harder to get noticed. Another reason why second born kids may feel like
they don’t have to try as hard is that they often benefit from the successes of 
their older siblings. Parents may have higher expectations for the firstborn child,
but they may be more lenient with the second child.

Additionally, second born children may be able to take advantage of opportunities
that their older siblings have paved the way for. For instance, if the oldest child
gets into a prestigious school, the second child may have an easier time getting
in as well. In short, there are a number of reasons why second born kids may feel
like they don’t have to try as hard as their siblings. However, it is important 
to remember that each child is unique and should be treated as such.

## **Are second borns really the forgotten children?**

There’s always been a lot of focus on firstborn children. They’re the ones who are
new to the family and everything is happening for the first time. It’s understandable
that they would get a lot of attention. But what about second born children? They
sometimes get labeled as the “forgotten” kids.

It’s easy to see how this can happen. By the time a second child comes along, parents
have a little more experience and they’re not as stressed out as they were with 
the first. So they may not be as attentive to the second child’s needs.

And even though second borns are often seen as independent and self-sufficient, 
they may actually crave more attention than their older siblings. So it’s important
to make sure that second born children don’t feel left out or neglected. Just because
they’re not the center of attention all the time doesn’t mean they don’t need love
and support.

## **How do you think birth order affects a person’s personality?**

It’s common for second-born kids to be labeled the “black sheep” of the family. 
Society tends to view them as rebels without a cause, but the truth is that second-
born children often have a lot of pressure on them to live up to the achievements
of their older siblings.

As a result, second-borns often develop a strong sense of individuality and independence.
They learn early on that they have to carve out their own niche in the world, and
this can make them creative problem-solvers who are unafraid to take risks. So next
time you meet a second-born, don’t be quick to judge – they just might surprise 
you.

![There's no denying that being the second born child comes with its own unique 
set of challenges](https://i0.wp.com/img.freepik.com/free-photo/close-up-young-beautiful-
children-having-fun-together_329181-16391.jpg?ssl=1)

## _**What do you think? Do you agree?**_

There’s no denying that being the second born child comes with its own unique set
of challenges. For one, you’re constantly being compared to your older sibling, 
who is often seen as the standard-bearer for the family. As a result, you often 
feel like you have something to prove.

In addition, you’re also dealing with the fact that your parents are likely to be
more lenient with your older sibling, which can create a sense of unfairness. And
let’s not forget the jealousy that can come from seeing your sibling receive all
of the attention. With all of that said, however, there are also some distinct advantages
to being the second born child.

For one, you learn from your sibling’s mistakes and are often able to avoid them
yourself. In addition, you’re often more independent and resourceful than your older
sibling, as you’ve had to find ways to stand out on your own. So while being the
second born child certainly has its challenges, it also comes with its own set of
benefits.

## **_How has being the second born child affected your life so far?_**

![author avatar](https://i0.wp.com/stayathomemum.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2025/
12/clare_whitfield_profile.webp?quality=80&ssl=1)

 Clare Whitfield Chief Editor

 Clare Whitfield is the Editor of Stay at Home Mum and a recognised voice in practical
home management for Australian families. Based in the northern suburbs of Sydney,
she balances editorial leadership with life as a stay at home mum to two school 
age children. Her background in home economics and more than a decade of experience
in recipe development, family budgeting, and household systems inform her work.

 [See Full Bio](https://stayathomemum.com.au/author/clare_whitfield/) [  ](https://stayathomemum.com.au/author/clare_whitfield/)