We all know how unpredictable toddlers can be. They can run off from your side at the supermarket, race off towards the road while you are pushing your newborn in the pram. You try to catch up to them as fast as you can, shouting out in a panic. Instead of someone interjecting and helping, you are surrounded by judging eyes insinuating that you are a bad parent.
You can’t control your child in public. You, are a BAAADDDD Mother!
Many mothers, even those from previous generations, choose to use a baby harness or baby leash to keep their young children close by and safe from dangers such as these situations. However, many parents are divided on this topic. Is it right to keep your children harnessed?� Why do people assume you are a lazy parent if you do?�� Are you treating your children like a pet?
What’s the Difference?
When you see a toddler or young child tethered, they will either be wearing a harness over their chest and back such as the common monkey backpack you see around or it will be a leash attached to their wrist.
Harnesses provide the parent with more control over the child’s movements whereas a leash attached to the wrist is recommended for children who are becoming more independent and respond well to verbal instructions.
Is it Right?
As with many aspects of parenting, there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to using a harness or leash on your child. �Regardless if other people disagree with your parenting tactics, every child, every family and every situation is different. It’s not about who is right, or whether or not you should do it, the answer is simply what works for you and what keeps your children safe.
Let’s face it, some kids are runners…. �And if having a tether means that they will be safe, and will give Mum piece of mind – great! Use them! Safety first and all that.
From a Mum that had a kid that loved to run out on roads – I think they are a safety necessity until such time as they can be trusted to listen to instructions – and act on them!
My husband thinks they are wrong. �But meh. �It wasn’t him taking two kids to the supermarket and juggling kids, a trolley, and all that entails.
When to Use Them
I have friends with young children who use a harness and I have friends with young children who don’t use them. The parents that use a harness normally only do so when they are out in public with more than one toddler, are near busy roads, are going to crowded places such as shopping centres or are heading out for a big day to the zoo or the Royal Show where kids can get extra excited and run off into the crowd without a second thought.
As with most things, there is normally an appropriate time and place to use a leash or a harness on your child.� Letting your child play on the swings at the playground while they are still leashed to you is probably not the best idea.
Are you a Lazy Parent?
Tethering your child does not make you a lazy parent nor does it mean you treat your child like an animal. It means you are doing what you believe is in their best interest to keep them safe. You may not be in a position to be able to chase after your toddler every time they run away. You may have other children to watch. You could have health or physical issues that prevent you from chasing after a toddler. There are many reasons why you may choose to use a harness. Either way, do not let the judging eyes of onlookers tell you otherwise. After all, if you let your child run free, no doubt those very same onlookers would be judging you for not being able to control your child in public.
How to Deal With Evil Eyes from Other People
As soon as you have children, everyone has an opinion. �Personally, I find the worst people for opinions are older ladies (which is bitterly disappointing…..). �I find the best way is to offer the offending child TO the person accusing you of being a bad mother…. See how mortified they look? �They will back away quietly. �Keep your head up (flip your hair if you hair is long enough) and strut away!
You should NEVER have to explain to anyone your decision on keeping your child safe!
Do you use a harness or a leash on your child? What are your views on children being harnessed?
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Clare WhitfieldChief Editor
Clare Whitfield is the Editor of Stay at Home Mum and a recognised voice in practical home management for Australian families. Based in the northern suburbs of Sydney, she balances editorial leadership with life as a stay at home mum to two school age children. Her background in home economics and more than a decade of experience in recipe development, family budgeting, and household systems inform her work.
Super article! I, proudly, tether my toddler! Keeps her independent and happy and out of trouble. If you keep your kid in a stroller the whole time, how are they going to learn there are things they can and things they cannot/should not touch. If anything, you are more active/attentive with that child on a tether because you are keeping an eye on them and what they are doing. IMHO — the lazy parents are the ones that keep the kid in the stroller the whole time!
I was raised in the uk and whenever I see this topic of discussion the Jamie bulger story comes stampeding to the front of my mind. A child wandering off with an unbearable outcome. I now have a 21 month old and a 6 month old and whenever we are out and about my toddler happily wears his back pack with safety strap. He must hold an adults hand at all times but in the event he does slip away I have the safety strap around my wrist and he cannot get further than a few feet from me. I believe this keeps him safe whilst allowing him the independence of walking whilst we are out.
Caroline – yes that story is a horrible reminder isn’t it. I truly believe the backpacks are a fantastic idea, but I myself never used it with my children. They happily stayed in the stroller or just held our hands. I’m lucky that we never had runners. 🙂
Kimberly Bennetta
I never wanted to use one, but nearly had to resort to it for safety reasons. My daughter went through a brief stage of running off and once ran out onto a carpark road. I know there are plenty of people against them, but if it means your child is safe than that is more important
Responses to “Would you use a Toddler Tether?”
Super article! I, proudly, tether my toddler! Keeps her independent and happy and out of trouble. If you keep your kid in a stroller the whole time, how are they going to learn there are things they can and things they cannot/should not touch. If anything, you are more active/attentive with that child on a tether because you are keeping an eye on them and what they are doing. IMHO — the lazy parents are the ones that keep the kid in the stroller the whole time!
Hi Brenda, I’m not lazy and I never tethered my child….I don’t think there’s anything with it, but I jus didn’t think about doing it.
I’m certainly not lazy though. 🙂 (Fran)
Why so judgemental Brenda? Pram, tether holding your hand. Does it really matter what means you use to keep your child safe?
Definitely each to their own. 🙂
I was raised in the uk and whenever I see this topic of discussion the Jamie bulger story comes stampeding to the front of my mind. A child wandering off with an unbearable outcome. I now have a 21 month old and a 6 month old and whenever we are out and about my toddler happily wears his back pack with safety strap. He must hold an adults hand at all times but in the event he does slip away I have the safety strap around my wrist and he cannot get further than a few feet from me. I believe this keeps him safe whilst allowing him the independence of walking whilst we are out.
Caroline – yes that story is a horrible reminder isn’t it. I truly believe the backpacks are a fantastic idea, but I myself never used it with my children. They happily stayed in the stroller or just held our hands. I’m lucky that we never had runners. 🙂
I never wanted to use one, but nearly had to resort to it for safety reasons. My daughter went through a brief stage of running off and once ran out onto a carpark road. I know there are plenty of people against them, but if it means your child is safe than that is more important
Definitely Kimberly, safety is the number 1 thing!