Clash of Kings
Could I really be bothered to wage war against a Threenager, let alone try to win? Oh hell no, seems to me like a lot of effort for not a lot in return. Probably better to wait that out and hope they learn some valuable life lessons on the way! But there are moments of shining glory, where as a parent, you ought to take a bow. I have to hand the award of ‘Well Played, My Lady’ to a friend who is in Threenager hell on a daily basis.
The award may not be for victory, but mainly for the way she takes every situation and recognises the learning curve involved. For both her and her child! I reckon her little boy is cute as cute can be and butter wouldn’t melt…except apparently it does, at volcanic temperatures”� but he’s bloody funny! For example, their morning recently went like so:
Dad: Time to brush your teeth!
M3: Bring the toothbrush here Dad
Mum: Hey! What do you say?
M3: Noooooooooooooooooowww”�.. (One does sometimes need to speak slowly to one’s parents) among the eye rolls.
And then when things went a little further downhill:
M3: You’re not my best friend anymore!
Mum: I don’t want to be your best friend dude”�
*M3 stomps off and slams bedroom door repeatedly*
*Mum strides down hallway with screwdriver*
Mum: Keep slamming that door and I’m going to take it off the hinges!
*Door opens, little face pops out*
M3: I’ll take you off your hinges!!! (This is where I almost wet my pants laughing)
*Promptly slams door shut, this time with fingers in it*
So it’s a sad ending, with a lesson (maybe) learnt, but kinda hilarious along the way, and I certainly find comfort in the fact that it’s not just me having some seriously weird conversations regularly with people under four feet tall, running commando through the house!
Split Personality
I know most kids at some stage of their young lives have an imaginary friend to lay blame upon, or a doll who trash talks at tea parties, but a whole new personality? At just under two-and-a-half, the alter-ego belonging to our youngest is a fast-moving, mischievous, cackling (think of a high-pitched hehehehehehe) wildling that appears out of nowhere, usually when you least expect it! The little shit-bag is known only as Pee-Pee & he’s a bit naughty.
Not like nail the cat to the wall naughty, but more like chuck things in the toilet naughty. It’s really hard to get too mad though�because he’s still pretty cute and funny, if not a little creepy (It’s that laugh). We try to remind Pee-Pee that we love him, just not always his antics. I can only imagine ‘them’ as threenagers!
I asked some teacher friends about this interloper and they say it’s a show of intelligence and not to worry. Of course”� so when the next remote or contact lens case goes in the toilet and I ask ‘Who did this?’ I shall just smile fondly at my grinning, cackling, proud-looking scoundrel as he announces that it was Pee-Pee, because the little turd burger is smart! Let’s see how long that lasts!
Anyone else going through the threenage years?
Very tasty, thankyou!