When you have children most of us hope that the silliness and drama of high school has been put behind us.
After all, you are an adult now. No more cliques, no more dramas with friends and no more bullying right? Wrong! For many mothers, having children means you are returning back to the playground and back to the antics of high school and cliques all over again.�After all, those cliquey students in high school grow up and many of them remain cliquey mothers.
It may be hard to step into a social group and many of the mother’s groups may not be too welcoming. If you are looking to make some new friends with other mums at your child’s school, then below are a few things to consider and a few things to avoid:
Take Your Time at Drop Off & Pick Up
Drop off and pick up can be the worst times of the day for a busy mum. The parking lot is always over crowded with pushy parents trying to get a good spot. This can leave everyone feeling stressed and not overly social. Leave for school a half an hour early and park further away.
Take this time to walk to school with your child. You will get to school feeling less rushed and calm and hopefully see other parents doing the same route as well. Look for others that have chosen the road less travelled and have arrived early rather than late. This is the best time to strike up a conversation.
The afternoons are usually not as rushed, and many Mothers wait at the school up to half an hour before the school bell rings for the day. �See if you can go early and sit nearby and join in the conversation!
Consider Younger Children
Many mums of school aged children have had their time at home and have now returned to work. While there is nothing wrong with befriending working mums, it may be hard to find time during the day to catch up.
If you have younger children at home with you, then look for other parents that do as well. You can suggest having a play date with the younger children while the older ones are in school.
Team up with your Child
Ask your child about the kids at school and whether he has made any friends. If there are some children that he seems to like and would like to have over, then use his incentive. Sometimes children need the assistance of mum to pursue a friendship and gain the courage and confidence to make friends. So step up to the plate and find the confidence to strike up a conversation or pick up the phone.
Consider an Online Community
Some schools now have online groups through Facebook and other social media sites that allow parents with children in the same grade at the same school to connect. This also allows teachers to reach a wider audience and discuss different events and upcoming projects.
An online community is a great way to touch base with the other school mums and parents. Be bold and make the first move by asking if any mums would be interested in meeting for a coffee? Is there no existing online community? Take initiative and set one up if you know how to work Facebook, then you will know how to create an online group.
Make Mum Cards
Making new friends is hard at any age and asking someone for a phone number can be a little bit weird. An innovative and fresh way to socialise is to create your own “mummy cards”, business cards that you hand out to people for play dates and other social events. Include your name and contact information and even the names of your children. There are plenty of templates online for unique and personal ‘mummy cards’.
How did you make friends at your kid’s school?
Response to “How to Meet School Mums”
Firstly let me thank you for writing such an honest and open article about bullying and for having the integrity to draw attention to the frequent source of bullying in schools – ‘mums’ of the PnC. In our school the same people head most of the sub-committees (they like to ‘pop in’ on the ones they don’t) They dominate every facet of volunteering across the school – some there all day, every day. While on the surface it appears that they’re long-suffering, devoted and just ‘so willing to help out’ in reality, they realise it’s a highly effective way of keeping other people from contributing and it’s hard not to view their behaviour as self-centred and almost ‘martyrish’…
It certainly stops fresh ideas, energy & people entering the fray.
The school has over 900 students, with over half the school in the lower three grades. Most of these younger mums are pretty savvy, modern types while the dominant forces in the PnC are seen as ‘out of touch’ at best. (FYI <60 members)(Their youngest are going through the older grades & they have kids already graduated from high school.) Not trying to sound ageist, but there's an obvious generation gap & most of their fund raising ideas fall over – we've had more than one pamphlet home 'cancelled due to lack of interest.' There most recent themed dance failed to attract over 100 people (let alone 100 students.) The theme was definitely the issue (lame) & people just don't bother volunteering any more, which means our school struggles to get help even for sports days!!
Wilful ignorance aside, they don't seem to realise a big part of this is their very own presence. If you attempt to give them any feedback, you will be the subject of gossip, lies, and petty behaviour. One of them still volunteers at a local kindy, and will be at the school after her last child leaves this year. Having a blue card isn't a guarantee against a personality disorder & it certainly doesn't automatically make you a nice person. It means you don't have a criminal record, like the majority of the population. They're certainly not the role models they've tried to idealise themselves as in their own minds. Sad. Very, very sad.