Penises. Half of the population of the planet have them, and they’ve been a source of pleasure, pain and controversy since the beginning of time. From ancient myths to pop culture scandals, these appendages seem to capture just as much attention as the people attached to them.
But when it comes to the most famous penises in history, who really stands out? Some are legendary for their size, others for their shock value, and a few for the way they shaped art, politics or even entire cultural conversations. Whether they belonged to historical figures, statues carved in marble, or cheeky cartoon characters, these penises all earned a spot in the spotlight.
So, settle in – we’ve rounded up nine of the most famous (and infamous) penises ever talked about. Which one do you think deserves the crown?
You take your pick.
1. Rasputin
Grigori Rasputin was a Russian mystic who had a following of people that believed he had supernatural powers and was a psychic and faith healer. In fact, he was seen as pretty heavily influencing the last days of the Russian Tsar Nicholas II and his wife, Tsarist Alexandra. However, that doesn’t mean he was the most popular person. In 1916, Rasputin was violently murdered, and some accounts claim his penis was severed from his body. Claims of ownership of Rasputin’s penis, which is apparently 13-inches long, bounced around for years, but it recently surfaced at a Russian erotic museum.
Yes, you can go to a museum, and see his penis.
2. Lili Elbe
Lili Elbe makes this list because she was one of the first transgendered people to actually have surgery to remove her penis, making it one for the history books. Born Einar Wegener in Denmark, it was reported that Einar may have been born intersex, and his parents chose to raise him as a boy.
Elbe was a leading artist in Paris during the late 1920s. He married fellow artist, the beautiful Gerda Gottlieb in 1904. One day, Einar’s wife Grete asked him to dress as a woman for a portrait, which drastically changed how Einar thought about his male identity. He ultimately decided to become a female, whom he named Lili Elbe, and underwent a series of experimental operations one of which removed his penis. Amazingly, considering the times, Elbe was able to have her marriage annulled and even had a new birth certificate issued with her female gender.
Lili passed away at age 48 as a result of one of her sex change surgeries. His wife Gerda was a huge supporter of both her husband, and his decision to transition. She eventually re-married and continued her passion with art.
Eddie Redmayne portrayed Lili Elbe in the recent movie, ‘The Danish Girl’.
3. Bart Simpson
A member of one of the longest running cartoon series out there, Bart Simpson is a character that very few people would not be familiar with. However, he generated quite a bit of buzz when just a bit more of him than normal hit the big screens. It all happened in The Simpsons Movie, which came out in cinemas with a general suitable-for-all rating. So imagine the audience’s surprise when during one scene, where Bart accepts a dare to skate naked down the street, there is a short but clear glimpse of the youngster’s small, but decidedly yellow, penis. Awkward!
4. John Wayne Bobbitt
When it comes to infamous penises, few stories have captured global headlines quite like that of John Wayne Bobbitt.
In June 1993, the former U.S. Marine and bar bouncer came home drunk to his wife, Lorena Gallo (later known as Lorena Bobbitt). According to her testimony, John sexually assaulted her that night – just one of many incidents in what she described as years of abuse. Overwhelmed with anger and fear, Lorena walked into the kitchen, grabbed an eight-inch carving knife, and did something that would shock the world: she cut off her husband’s penis while he slept.
What followed was a scene straight out of a dark comedy. Lorena fled with the severed organ in hand, driving until she eventually tossed it into a roadside field. Police launched an urgent search, and against all odds, the penis was found, washed, packed on ice, and rushed to the hospital, where surgeons reattached it during a nine-hour operation.
The incident dominated the media. John, now infamous, tried to capitalise on his unwanted fame by starring in not one, but two adult films – John Wayne Bobbitt: Uncut and Frankenpenis. Meanwhile, Lorena’s trial painted a harrowing picture of domestic violence. Expert witnesses testified that she had endured years of escalating physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. The jury ultimately acquitted her, ruling she was temporarily insane at the time of the attack.
The couple divorced in 1995, and their lives took very different paths. John racked up a string of arrests for assault, theft, and domestic violence, while Lorena reinvented herself as an advocate for victims of abuse, even founding an organisation to support women and children escaping violent relationships.
Today, the Bobbitt case is remembered not just for the jaw-dropping headline, but for sparking global conversations about domestic abuse, consent, and the lengths people go to when they feel trapped and powerless.
5. Dirk Diggler
Alright, so Dirk Diggler might not technically exist, but his legendary member certainly does in the world of pop culture.
In 1997, the film Boogie Nights hit cinemas, telling the story of a young nightclub dishwasher who stumbles his way into the glitzy, gritty world of 1970s adult films. That dishwasher was, of course, Dirk Diggler – a fictional porn star whose… erm… assets quickly made him the talk of the industry.
The entire movie builds up the mystique of Dirk’s, shall we say, natural talents. For more than two hours, audiences are teased with endless references to his extraordinary endowment, only for the big reveal to finally come in the very last scene. (Talk about delayed gratification!)
And here’s the kicker – Mark Wahlberg, who played Dirk, actually got to choose his prosthetic penis for the film. He’s admitted in interviews that he kept it after filming wrapped, tucked away as Hollywood memorabilia. Imagine explaining that to the kids during show-and-tell!
Dirk Diggler may not be a real man, but in the pantheon of famous penises, his fictional legacy is impossible to ignore.
6. Jonah Falcon
If there’s one man who’s made headlines for sheer size alone, it’s Jonah Falcon. Born in Brooklyn in 1970, Falcon shot to international fame in 1999 after appearing in an HBO documentary, boldly claiming he possessed the world’s largest penis. According to him, it measures 13.5 inches (34 cm) when erect – which, if true, would put every other contender to shame.
But here’s the catch: it’s never been medically verified. Ever. So while Falcon has basked in the spotlight of being “the man with the world’s biggest penis,” more credible challengers have since come forward. In fact, Matt Barr currently holds the medically verified record at 14.4 inches, while Roberto Cabrera also grabbed headlines (though in his case, most of the length turned out to be foreskin rather than actual anatomy).
Falcon, for his part, leaned into the notoriety. He’s made countless TV appearances, recorded a cheeky song called It’s Too Big, and was even stopped at a U.S. airport in 2012 because security thought the bulge in his trousers was something suspicious. Spoiler: it wasn’t.
Despite endless offers, Falcon has always refused to enter the adult film industry, saying he wanted to pursue “serious” acting instead. He’s popped up in small roles on Law & Order, The Sopranos, and even A Beautiful Mind, but is far better known for his anatomy than his IMDB page.
And in true quirky fashion, Falcon has reportedly promised to donate his penis to the Icelandic Phallological Museum (yes, the actual penis museum) after his death – ensuring his legacy lives on in glass, if not in Guinness World Records.
7. David
When it comes to famous packages, they don’t get more widely viewed than the statue of David. Considered a masterpiece of Renaissance sculpture, created by Michelangelo from 1501 to 1504, David survived the penis cutting of the Victorian era. As a result, his weenie is just how it was originally carved in the 5.17 metre marble sculpture. One of the main discussions around David is that, despite the Judaic practice of circumcision, David appears to be uncircumcised, which is more in line with Renaissance art conventions.
8. John Holmes
John Curtis Holmes, sometimes known by the name Johnny Wadd, is known as being one of the most prolific male porn stars of his time. During his career, he appeared in 2,500 adult films and is best known for his rather large penis. In fact, this aspect of him was the biggest seller of his films, despite there being no definite evidence of how long the penis actually was. An ex-wife recalled it to be around 10 inches, but Holmes himself once claimed it was 15 inches. Then there’s the word of his manager, who claimed he saw John measure it on many occasions (fun) and it was 13.5 inches. That’s one hell of a penis.
9. Juan Baptista dos Santos
Juan Baptista dos Santos is one man who definitely needs to make the list, and absolutely should be the man you remember for his member. While he wasn’t famous all over the world, in certain circles, he was well known for his unusual makeup. Born in Portugal around 1843, Juan Baptista dos Santos was considered as a young man to be handsome, fit, and well-proportioned. Except that he had two distinct penises, and a third leg. Now, the third leg was actually two legs fused together, and it couldn’t move. The penises however were fully functional, and Juan became known as a man with a powerful sexual appetite who would finish with one penis and move right on to the other.
Want to Keep Reading?
In The Big Penis Book we explore the centuries-old fascination with the large phallus, a fascination common to men and women alike. This hefty book is profusely illustrated with over 400 historic photos of spectacular male endowments, including rare photos of the legendary John Holmes.
There you go, a bit of interesting reading for the day. Don’t worry boys, girls would run a mile from penises this big!
Have your say!