10 Ways to Settle A Child’s Tantrum

Mother calming young child during a tantrum at home in a cozy living room.

Temper tantrums are quite common and not in any way unusual.

While children are more notable of the trait, some adults (occasionally) experience tantrum. You often see pictures of happy smiling babies in most websites and think your child is a nuisance. However, all children have their own share of bad moods.

In definition, a tantrum simply refers to bad temper which children experience from time to time. Sometimes, it simply seems like they woke up in a bad mood. However, tantrums are a way for children to express their frustrations and they can also use it to get attention. Here are 10 ways to settle a child having a tantrum:

10. Simply walk away

Listening to your child crying and screaming can be difficult. However, if it’s a tantrum, this may persist despite your best efforts to stop them. Sometimes, the best solution is to do nothing at all, ignore them and just walk away. Of course, this is the hardest option, but it works. Within 2 to 8 minutes, your child will stop crying, calm down and join the rest of the family.

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9. Talk it out

With older children (5 years and older), it is sometimes much easier to talk them out of their tantrum, since they might be able to sit down and understand a situation. All you need is take them to another room or environment and then sit them on your lap. Ask them what the problem is and after they explain, ask them what you can do to make it better. It makes them happier to have a say in the solution to the problem, and it may just be a kiss, a hug or an apology from a sibling.

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8. Counting ultimatum

Whenever your child starts having a bad tantrum, you can simply tell them that you will count to a given number and if they are not silent by then, they must go to their room/naughty corner. It is amazing how they can quickly go from terrible crying to silence.

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7. Speak in a calm, quiet voice

It is quite common for parents to retaliate the screaming and shouting of their children when they are having a tantrum. In fact, it may seem unnatural to speak calmly to a crying screaming baby. However, shouting only adds fuel to the terrible moods. You will be surprised that speaking quietly and calmly can bring their attention into listening and remaining silent afterwards.

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6. Use some music

Music is a perfect distraction for both adults and children. You can use the music and quiet room, or just music. Simply give your child some headphones to shut off the outside environment. You can play them their favourite song or some calming songs that will change their moods. Music is perfect when the tantrum has left your child angry to a point where getting their minds off the bitterness is difficult.

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5. Send them to a quiet spot

Establishing a quiet spot can help you deal with your child’s bad temper. A quiet spot is simply a special comfortable room packed with some pillows, warm colours and a stuffed animal. The basic idea is to create a cosy atmosphere to diffuse the anger and situation. You can always send them to the quiet room when they start having a potentially terrible tantrum. Make sure the room is cosy and comfortable enough to distract their mind and calm them down.

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4. Remove a privilege

This is among the most effective of the 10 ways to settle a child having a tantrum. Children will often respond to removal of their most loved toys or things like not allowing them to watch their favourite TV show. You must make sure you carry through with this if they don’t calm their tantrum.

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3. Ask them to take deep breaths

This method is another effective way to help a child having tantrum, although it may not work if your child is not used to it. When your child is calm and happy, make a habit of asking them to take deep breaths as a way of relaxing. Tantrums can be quite extreme, leaving your child gasping for air. Asking them to take deep breaths will help them relax and stop crying. What’s more, it will help you calm down as well since you will take the deep breaths while illustrating it to your child.Settle A Child's Tantrum | Stay At Home Mum

2. Give them a close/tight hugs

Tight hugs make children feel safer and they will often calm down quicker. It is also a relief from the exhausting tantrum that leaves them tired and worked up. Simply pull them close and give a tight hug. You can gently pat their back while at it.Settle A Child's Tantrum | Stay At Home Mum

1. Distract them

This is a simple method you can use to settle a child having tantrum. However, you have to be very careful with it, otherwise, the child will ignore you and continue acting angry and crying. You can say “I have to show you something” in an excited voice as a way to distract them from wanting something you are not able to give them at the moment.

This will often stop the tears and arouse their interest which is exactly what you want.Settle A Child's Tantrum | Stay At Home Mum

There are many other minor ways to help a child having a tantrum.

It is important to understand that such bad moods and agony are only natural and happen to all babies including those that may seem happy all the time. When tantrums occur, find the ideal solution before it gets worse.

Never scare the child into extreme fear that will affect how they relate with you. Children generally react in a given way based on how they have become accustomed. If the tantrum is intense and does not stop regardless of your efforts, it is time to reassess how much you let your child get away with.

How do you settle a child’s tantrum?

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Clare Whitfield Chief Editor
Clare Whitfield is the Editor of Stay at Home Mum and a recognised voice in practical home management for Australian families. Based in the northern suburbs of Sydney, she balances editorial leadership with life as a stay at home mum to two school age children. Her background in home economics and more than a decade of experience in recipe development, family budgeting, and household systems inform her work.

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